sayajay.net

I'll probably be reading this a few years from now, and not remember any of this (or will still be a problem?). Here we go:

• It feels like i am blamed for things beyond my control.
• I'm not happy about the type of work I am doing.
• My Korean language teacher didn't show up to class, but I didn't receive any message about a cancellation.

As with a lot of moments in my life, this is only the tip of the iceberg. It's hard to verbalize this cesspool of feelings, such as it is. I haven't written here in ages, so in some ways, this is a little cathartic.

I'd like to get back into writing, but I have noticed that its hard to focus on things -- even activities that I typically enjoy (like playing video games or watching movies), is something that i have a hard time getting started. The hypochondriac in my tells me that this is a symptom of depression.

However, the fact is that i still feel. That sounds a little odd writing that out like this, but I've also read that depression is marked by apathy. When I think about going to Japan and seeing my friends again later this year, I feel happy about it. When I get bogged down at work, I feel not-so-great about it. So, I'm going to call all these weird feelings I've been having lately a good thing.

"When's the last time you've cried?" is a question I think about from time-to-time. Not so much for its literal meaning, but more the point it is trying to make: that it's meaningful to live life being passionate about certain things.

Anyhow, I'm on a tangent - though, oddly enough, I don't know what point I was trying to make. Huh.

I should really try this blogging thing out again more often. Cheers for now, future-Jerry.