sayajay.net

a pretty short weekend, as always. i didn't have to work on saturday, so i slept in a little. that was nice ^_^

of course, being by myself for most of saturday doesn't help things; partially because when i'm left alone in my apartment, i rely on my own devices to provide me with some leisure. some things i've thought about doing lately:

• updating this site with ASP .NET, or maybe something like PHP
• creating a personal wireless music server.
• eating some thai food
• getting a new job
• writing a novel
• jumping off a cliff
• smiling

trying to keep up with the most current technology is hard. once i've absorbed a new bit of info, it's already outdated. i've been obsessed with web development lately, so i read up about it alot. hopefully, by my next update, this site will be XHTML 1.0. just gotta add a few forward slashes here and there, and learn some XML.

it's too expensive to upgrade my laptop. most of the space on my hard drive is taken up by my digitized personal music collection. i listen to my music when i'm at home. it's probably cheaper to get another computer and store all my information on it: less burden on the client side (even though i'll be the only client to my network). it'd be cool to be able to access my files remotely too. tee-hee.

i'm hungry. thai food is good. therefore, eat thai food.

i said last time that i expected lots to happen: i was thinking about my job search, since every other part of my life seems pretty stable at the moment, at least for now. i work at LHS now, but it's time to move on. i imagine myself doing IT consulting or something like tech support. my ideal job would be to program web databases all day; there doesn't seem to be many jobs like that around lately.

what if i wrote a novel? what would it be about? it's hard to pinpoint a single idea that i want to explore, since there are so many that are meaningful to me. loneliness, familial ties, education, love, AI, political instability, technology - as if these things crashed into me at once.

i read this book called Winesburg, Ohio. it's a collection of short stories by anderson. it centers around isolation and frustration, through the stories of individuals in a small town called Winesburg. one particular story that i keep on thinking about is called "Adventure." here's the last paragraph or so...

"When she got to her own room she bolted the door and drew her dressing table across the doorway. Her body shook as with a chill and her hands trembled so that she had difficulty getting into her nightdress. When she got into bed she buried her face in the pillow and wept brokenheartedly. "What is the matter with me? I will do something dreadful if I am not careful," she thought, and turning her face to the wall, began trying to force herself to face bravely the fact that many people must live and die alone, even in Winesburg."

is this what happens when prolonged loneliness sets in? it scares me.

jumping off a cliff. eh, i would never do that. i'm scared of heights. i plan on living forever, since i'm invincible and all, and i have my ultra-cool mega super powers to protect me from danger anyway.

japanese is pretty interesting in the way that it uses four distinct character sets, one of which is kanji - borrowed chinese characters. i learned this kanji character today:

心 "heart" kokoro

some people make themselves laugh at their troubles. so, shall i smile a smile? demo, saikin, kokoro ga itai desu ne.... smiling is easy, but making myself really feel it, is the hard part. i can smile at stupid jokes but how can people laugh at things that are just...well, not funny?

i was sitting in this lonely hallway the other day on the 7th floor of dwinelle hall on campus. my cell phone had died. my laptop had run out of battery charge. my PDA wouldn't turn on because i forgot to charge it the night before. fortunately, my camera worked.

as a techno-geek, i'm obsessed with ultraportable electronic devices (i guess that's why IT consulting would be a good for me to do: i always try to find ways to simplify the logistics of life through technological means). one thing i've noticed is that ultra-portable things generally have horrendous battery life. that doesn't seem to fade my obsession though ^_^ nonetheless it was sad carrying around such a heavy load of dead silicon in such a desolate place. once one thing goes wrong, it's like that domino effect. shall i even expound murphy's law to you? hmm... meh... maybe things aren't that bad.

in other "developments," the guestbook works at least. i have a midterm and a presentation tomorrow. the midterm in computer science, and the presentation in philosophy. i'll need to stock up on some energy bars and related beverages.

some parting thai wisdom for today: may dii ley!. cheers.